My Lost Smile

For the first time in almost 11 years I really feel I'm starting to get my smile back. It's not that I've been miserable or depressed for 11 years, far from it, rather that I've had Bell's Palsy three times with very little recovery each time, which has left the left side of my face mostly paralysed.

Bell's Palsy is about far more than just having a wonky face. Simple things that most people take for granted such as eating, drinking, sleeping, washing, communicating all suddenly become an issue. Around 1 in 5000 people worldwide will experience Bell's Palsy at some point in their lives but around 80% of these will go on to make a complete recovery within 3-6 months and sometimes just a matter of weeks; famous examples include George Clooney, Pierce Brosnan and Rick Savage. So that puts me in the 0.015% of the population who end up with lasting paralysis. I did always like to be different.


After 10 years and 6 consultants of getting nowhere and being told there was nothing to be done, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I found a physiotherapist who specialises in facial paralysis and is part of the specialist team at the Queen Victoria Hospital in East Grinstead, but works at the QE in Birmingham, and told my GP to write a referral. Luckily my GP knows me quite well by now and knows what I do for a living, so I can get away with telling him what to do to a certain extent as he appreciates I'm far more of an expert on Bell's  Palsy than he is.

My first appointment, 6 weeks ago, was an incredibly exhausting and emotional visit, having to literally come face to face with all my insecurities as we practiced facial expressions in the mirror, but also incredibly useful to get a professional opinion. After 6 weeks of doing massage and stretching my eyelid at home, I was really starting to feel a difference. By the time I returned for my 2nd appointment yesterday, the tightness had definitely improved and my blink was much better, but there is still a lot of work to do. I was hooked up to an EMG machine, which measures muscle activity, while I performed a barrage of expressions, smiling, pouting, raising my eyebrows, saying sounds like B and P (which ironically are the hardest to say with Bell's Palsy) and seeing just how different the activity levels were on each side of my face. After a lot of concentration and effort I could balance the levels out slightly except with pouting, so I'd better stop doing that.

I've got a lot of work to do, but as with everything in life, you're only going to get out what you put in, so if you see me pulling funny faces sat in traffic, I'm exercising. Funny thing is, the first thing I notice about that photo of me is not my wonky smile but that my hair's a mess!

Further information on all types of facial paralysis, including my story, can be found at http://www.facialnervepalsy.com/

2 Response to "My Lost Smile"

  1. LordWilsonVILLA says:

    Eleven years without a smile, sounds like my ex wife. Seriously though
    from your description the symptoms sound similar to stroke symptoms but obviously its not a stroke.

    I’m glad to hear of your improvement, ’Confessions of a Serial Rambler’ is always a good read and I don’t think Bell's Palsy has a chance against you.

    I had a similar problem, I lost all feelings to my arms and hands. I had all the predictable piss-takes from mates like “I bet it’s great for masturbation” but I was terrified.

    I went to bed one night feeling okay and woke up the next day barely able to move. My unreliable VW Golf was playing up, as usual, so I had to go to the local hospital on my pushbike. That was a very strange experience, holding the handlebars but not feeling them.

    They X-rayed my neck and told me I had damage to the 7th vertebra in my spine interrupting messages to the nerve endings. A doctor said it should gradually repair itself and eventually it did. Now I have full feeling back but occasionally I have a feeling of ‘pins and needles' in my hands.

    Your problem might be related to bad circulation, have you tried Ginkgo Biloba? It improves circulation and short term memory. It’s what I took and anything is worth a try.
    I hope you continue to improve and get your full smile back.

    Lawrence ( LordWilsonVILLA )

    Lala83 says:

    Thank you Lawrence. Many people believe they have suffered a stroke at first onset but Bell's Palsy is caused by damage to the 7th cranial nerve. The degree of damage varies but in my case there is very little impulse being carried by the damaged nerve and it is not now going to regenerate. The physio, or neuromuscular retraining, simply allows me to retrain the muscles to achieve the best results from the little nerve impulse I have. It is unrelated to circulation.

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